Dad Grandpa Veteran Shirt, hoodie, tank top
- Comfortable fit.
- Ship from 4-6 days
- High quality
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Dad Grandpa Veteran Shirt, hoodie, tank top
I clung to our toddler’s routine: naps, meals, walks to collect more conkers. He loved dancing to Lady Gaga and Abba, and they were playing most of his waking hours. Alex was old enough to ask where his promised baby brother was, but too young to understand the answer.
One of the hardest things in those early days was telling people what had happened. Friends were expecting happy news and baby pictures; instead we had to find the words to say our son had died just before he was born.
People were kind and supportive, but didn’t know what to say. The house filled with flowers and cards. Friends donated to our fundraiser for the NSPCC, which we held in Finn’s memory. Many wrote letters and emails, dropped off cakes. Some stayed to talk.
My friend Naomi phoned every morning, asking: “Is today a good day or a bad day?” She promised me I would get through the worst days, that they would become fewer, and, of course, she was right.
Other parents invited us on trips to the park. Friends took me out in the evenings, distracting me and, at the same time, repairing my battered self-esteem. Despite my grief, and my enduring sense of guilt about Finn’s death, their invitations told me I was still good company.
We went away with another family the weekend before Finn’s funeral. My brother looked after Alex so that my husband and I could get out of the house alone. Through the Sands stillbirth and neonatal death charity, I made new friends who had also lost babies. We talked about what had happened to us, how others had reacted, our fears about trying again.
Some friends asked what had happened, and I was grateful to be given the chance to share our birth story, as distressing as it was. My oldest friend asked if I might show her photos of Finn, and it made him feel more real to me and eased my guilt about not having the usual baby pictures to share.
We had outstanding support from the NHS right from the moment the scan confirmed Finn had died. Our community midwives and health visitor answered our questions about practical elements, such as what would happen now I wasn’t breastfeeding, how to organise Finn’s funeral, and what to expect from the postmortem – which ultimately found no cause for Finn’s sudden death. A bereavement midwife dropped round a disc with photos taken of Finn at the hospital, for us to look at when we were ready. There were prints from his hands and feet, too. We had excellent care from the hospital psychotherapist.
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